Life is NOT a TV show (or is it?)

I was on the bus this afternoon when I witnessed the following series of events. A disabled man with a walker boarded the bus and then sat down. A woman sitting next to the disabled man suggested that a woman sitting across the aisle move to make more room for him. As the man got up to move to the other side of the bus, the bus started rolling and the man fell. I and another passenger caught him on the way down and he landed fairly softly. As we were helping him get back in his seat, the woman who had suggested for him to move started yelling that the bus driver shouldn't have taken off when she did. A middle aged man came to the bus drivers defense and got into an exchange with the woman who was being critical of the bus driver. I'm not going to take sides about what happened next. I don't think either person communicated very well.

The woman who was critical of the bus driver said to the middle aged man at one point, "I don't know why you are telling me this and you'd better get out of my face." The man made an unkind counter remark and went a few rows back to sit down. The bus driver gave the man who had fallen down a piece of paper and asked him to write his name and phone number down so that someone from the transit company could follow up with him. It was at this point that the middle aged man who had intervened earlier decided to re-engage with the woman who was being critical, and things went from being tense to violent. After a hostile exchange, the man called the woman a sociopath and the woman called the man out for a fight. When he did not take her up on it, she spit in his face twice. The bus driver asked the woman to leave, and as she was leaving the bus she continued to hurl insults at the man, question his manhood and challenge him to a fight. She finally got off the bus as the driver called the Transit Police.

There is a TV show in its first season that is called "Fairly Legal." The star is a beautiful young mediator who, when she is not mediating high stakes legal issues intervenes when she sees people on the street who are about to get into a conflict. She solves an issue between a bicyclist and a driver and also (the most far fetched) between an armed man and a convenience store clerk. For the bicyclist and motorist, she chided both of them for focusing more on drinking their coffee than watching traffic and sent them on their way. For the clerk and the would be robber, she led them through a quick negotiation and reality tested what might happen to each of them if they fail to resolve the conflict. I have to say that I was not thinking of the fact that I was a mediator as I watched the two people I described earlier argue on the bus. I was watching the trajectory of the young woman's spit and trying to stay clear of it. I was also watching the way the man was trying to shame the woman into seeing the error of her ways and how this approach was failing. Could this issue be mediated? I don't think so. Mediation, at least the model that I have been trained under, doesn't fit into scenarios like this one when people aren't really playing by any rules. Mediators are all about rules. We suggest where people sit and make them agree to all sorts of things, such as one person talking at a time, not using "hot button" words etc., and usually have them agree to these rules and the confidentiality of the process before anyone says a word.

I don't think we should scrap the eight stage interest based mediation model. It works well, especially in work place mediation. I am becoming more aware of the model's limitations though. If mediators really want to make a difference in the world, and I think we do, we need to look at models that can help us intervene when people are out of control and not able to play by the rules. I'm not sure what these new models might look like, but it is an interesting question to ponder, don't you think?

Tax the Super Rich or Face A Revolution?

I'm sharing a story I read on Market Watch. Mind you this is not a lefty website, nor is the author. He's an "insider" trying to get people's attention. I think he may be on to something. History will tell.

http://www.marketwatch.com/story/tax-the-super-rich-now-or-face-a-revolution-2011-03-29

The Ten Commandments of Social Networking

1- Thou shalt not treat Facebook as your God. Facebook has received a tremendous amount of press, but it is still essentially a way for people to share pictures.

2- Thou shalt not believe everything you read online. Case in point, networks announced that Representative Gifford's was fatally wounded based upon an anonymous source on Wikipedia. The thing that is great about the internet, access for all, also makes it quite likely that you will occasionally read something that is totally nonsense, such as a Twitter feed from Sarah Palin. Likewise, don't assume you know someone if the only impression you have of them comes from what they post online. The person is letting you see the parts of them they want, sort of like an iceberg, much more is below the surface.

3- Thou shalt not take thy spouse or bosses name in vain online. The same norms of social etiquette that have applied to people for ages apply to your online posts. If you are mad at your boss or your ex-lover, tell it to a few close friends if you must, but don't post it online. It's sort of like Eddie Vedder getting drunk and getting on the mike at a Baseball stadium. Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should.

4- Remember the sabbath- Once a week, turn off your phone, computer, etc. and take a walk. See the sky, the trees? Smell the air? See that cute guy/girl on the bus who isn't listening to his/her Ipod or texting on his/her smart phone? Strike up a conversation. Sure it feels weird for a bit, but isn't it ten times more interesting than anything you've read online for the last, say 2 years? You know it is.

5- Honor thy father and mother. Remember when you friended your Mom on Facebook? Remember that post you just made on FB "got real drunk last night and masturbated to pictures of your mom?" Your mom and your Grandmother just read that.

6- Thou shall not murder your career. It's nice that you have a cool job where you can get drunk at work. It's fun to post pictures of you using a beer bong in front of your work computer. A small disturbed sub-group of your friends are thinking about following you on Twitter. Even if you delete it later, it lives on a server somewhere forever, and it can come back to haunt you. Do you think this is going to be your last job? Do you think potential employers might do a Google search on your name? What if drinking at work is not so OK with them? Go ahead, roll the dice.

7-Thou shalt no commit adultry (even if its all in your mind). If you are married or in a committed relationship, don't say anything in a chat or private message that you wouldn't post on a wall on FB. If the message you are getting ready to send to your daughters hot friend does not pass this test, stand up, back away from the computer and do 25 sit ups. It can never hurt.

8- Thou shalt not steal intellectual property. If someone has blogged it, played it, painted it, drew it, or twittered it, it's their property. You can probably get away with using that photo you like on your album cover if you photo shop the shit out of it, but don't use it unless you get permission. See the last sentence of commandment three for the reason.

9-Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor. This means don't lie. It's just a good rule to follow. Enough said?

10- Do not covet thy neighbors online Friends. I saw a presentation about Social Networking sites which stated you cannot keep meaningful contact up with more than 150 people, nobody can. If you think this is overstated, try this test. Take a look at your list of Friends on any social networking site. Now, ask yourself this question, how many of these people would pick me up at the airport if I asked them? Those are your friends.***

***Paraphrased from something I heard Chuck Prophet say at a show at the Tractor Tavern in 2010 (see Commandment #8)

My rock and roll summer

I was talking with my brother Stephan a couple of months ago, and I reminded him I was going to turn 50 this summer. He asked me what I wanted to do, and I didn't even have to think about it. I said, I want to play music. Stephan and I founded a band called Ghost Ranch over ten years ago. The band was gaining some momemtum, playing festivals, earning good money, getting some air play and recognition from the Northern Nevada and Northern California community and a growing following in Las Vegas when I pulled the plug on the project by taking a job in Astoria Oregon. I was sort of delusional when it happened, because I convinced myself that moving to the Pacific Northwest wouldn't change things much and that the band could continue as it was, but of course that didn't happen. Stephan lives in Las Vegas now and we still get together periodically to play, but I've been missing some sort of closure around the Ghost Ranch project. So, getting back to the conversation about me turning 50-- we decided to put it out there and see if we could find a venue to play live. Stephan contacted Mary Bennett from Bruka Theater, and she suggested the band come to Reno and play a closing night party for a play and that we invite the Reno community to party at Bruka with the reunited Ghost Ranch band, so that's what we decided to do.
Shortly after booking the Bruka party (scheduled for next Friday, July 30th) Stephan spoke with recording engineer Bjorn Thorsrud (Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins, Dandy Warhols, etc) a childhood friend of ours about coming to Reno to record the band live. He said he couldn't make it, but invited the band to come to Chicago to spend some time in the studio. So that is what we are going to do. Stephan and I pooled our money, and we are paying for drummer Jon Caggiula (Gunshot Licker) and guitarist David Highsmigh (Ghost Dance, SWINE) to join us in Chicago. We also hired some videographers to shoot some footage in Seatle, Reno and Chicago to document whatever it is that we are doing. The shots I attached are from the Seattle shoot. I'm excited and anxious at the same time. Mostly I am just grateful to be given the opportunity to do what I love with people I care about.

Acoustic Asylum at Stephan's House

I am in Las Vegas, and I shot this short video on my camera at my brother Stephan's house on Thursday. Stephan and his wife Betsy bought a rambling Vegas ranch house with enough land for Betsy to raise chickens and train horses. They cleaned out the "mud room," set up the PA and invited the family over for a night of music. This is just a slice of what that night felt like. It's Stephan's daughter Selena singing a Linda Williams song with her dad on electric guitar and her uncle on backing vocals and acoustic guitar. I hope you like it.

How to Disapear Completely

That's a title of a Radio head song from the album Kid A. It became sort of my theme song in the gym this year. I thought the idea of using this song to lose body fat was sort of funny.

In January of 2009, I posted the following:

I wrote in a previous post of my resolution to drop 5% of my body fat this year. I actually didn't have a clue what my body fat percentage was when I wrote that piece, nor was I sure how realistic dropping 5% for a guy like me was.

Friday, I purchased a body composition analysis from Brian and his mobile body fat testing lab www.BodyFatTest.com. It's a mobile lab in a semi-trailer truck with a submersion tank in it. Brian had me strip to my bathing suit, submerge myself in the tank and blow as much air as I could out of my lungs. He took four measurements to assure accuracy, then a computer spits out a fairly impressive body composition summary. I had a couple of pieces of good news. First one is, I'm taller than I thought I was (5 ft. 11 and a quarter inches). Second, my body fat for my age is closer to Good, placing me in the 55th percentile. If I want to drop 5% of my body fat, that would bring me to a weight of 176.5, but that is if all of the weight I lose is fat and not muscle.

I took another body fat test from Brian on January 6th, 2010 and I was pleasantly surprised.

Here are the actual results from that 2009 and 2010 body fat tests

Date--------Weight-----Lean Lb.-----Fat Lb.-----Body Fat%
1/16/2009---187.8------149.95-------37.85-------20.1
1/06/2010---172.2------151.85-------25.35-------14.3
---------------(-15.6)-----(+1.9)-------(-12.5)-----(-5.8)

Like I said in the previous post, I wasn't really sure what dropping 5% of my body fat meant at the time. I know now that it is a pretty big deal. For men by age (40-49) 20.1% body fat is in the range between fair and good, specifically between the 50th and 55th percentile. 14.3% is in the excellent range, between the 85th and 90th percentile for my age group. And, keep in mind, for a man my age, if you drop below 6.6%, you are in danger of burning essential fat.

I feel good about what happened. When I was thinking about what made the change, part of it I have to attribute to some blood work I did and a prescription from my doctor for some hormones to put me back in balance. Another contributing factor was my regular attendance (every Monday night) at the West Seattle Martial Arts Club, a club that was started by a couple of disciples of Bruce Lee over 25 years ago. The Monday night core workout kicked my butt so badly I found myself highly motivated to go to the gym as often as I could on weekdays, so I wouldn't be in as much pain the next Monday. I've stuck with it, and now I am being asked to show some of the new guys the ropes.

For next year, my goal is simply to move in the right direction, and it actually is not that hard, because the good news from my body fat test has made me more motivated than ever to keep working out!

No regrets

I'm visiting a medium sized western town I spent many years in. In the past, I've tortured myself with regret over moving away from here. In the most futile of these times, I'll replay my life as if I had never moved, predicting a non-existent past like a hyperactive God with too much time on her hands. It's crazy-making, and it never makes me feel better, only confused. If my wits are about me at all, my thoughts usually come back around to something like this. I like who I am today a lot better than the person who left this town 10 years ago. I've cleaned up my act, been freed from some behaviors that were killing me, reconnected with God, repaired relationships, rejuvenated my body, continued to pursue my creative passions, and found truly meaningful work for which I am richly compensated. When I look in the mirror, I like who I see. My life seems to be following a path where the dots connect in ways I never would have imagined, but it all fits. Who am I to second guess God, fate, destiny?

So it comes back to this. I like this town. If the right circumstances present themselves and I get to come back here, so be it. If not, I get to visit. There is no turning back, not if I want to keep my sanity.

Inauguration Thoughts

Today's post is about breaking free from cynicism. I decided to follow then President Elect Obama's suggestion to spend Martin Luther King Jr.s Holiday doing service. I went on-line and found a clean up project near my home. I spent a couple of hours picking up trash by the side of a popular park. On the way, I met a mother who was doing the same with her 10 year old daughter, Morgan, who walked up to me and said "can you walk with us," and I said I could. Morgan had one of those hinged grabbing devices for picking up garbage, and she ran ahead of me, putting cigarette butts, candy wrappers and assorted paper into my plastic bag. As I held Morgan's hand crossing the street under a clear beautiful Northwestern sky, I counted my blessings and felt pride in being an American I haven't felt for years.

I, like many others, found it hard to express the emotions I felt as Barack Obama was sworn in as the 44th President of the United States of America. Here was another chance for me to let go of the cynic inside. I could have dismissed the newly elected President's inaugural address as mere rhetoric. Instead, I listened to it as he passionately and eloquently rebuffed the previous administrations efforts to compromise liberty for security, chastised the Washington establishment for sleeping at the switch in terms of our economy and proclaimed that America would again assert itself as a leader among nations. Like many, I felt like the new President was speaking right to me when he said:
"What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them -- that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works -- whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. Those of us who manage the public dollars will be held to account -- to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day -- because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government."
President Obama seemed to be channeling Lincoln, FDR, JFK and George Washington as he challenged all of us to do better than we've done before. The Seattle Post Intelligencer printed the entire Inauguration Speech, here is the link http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/national/396887_inaugtext21.html

So I plan to keep doing what I'm doing, getting up early every morning to work out, praying and meditating, putting in an honest day and serving others as best I can at work, playing music, blogging and cartooning in my free time and getting on my knees at night to thank God for how blessed I am. If I keep that up, I'm hopefully not going to have enough time to be cynical.

Following up on a New Year's Resolution

I wrote in a previous post of my resolution to drop 5% of my body fat this year. I actually didn't have a clue what my body fat percentage was when I wrote that piece, nor was I sure how realistic dropping 5% for a guy like me was.

Friday, I purchased a body composition analysis from Brian and his mobile body fat testing lab www.BodyFatTest.com. It's a mobile lab in a semi-trailer truck with a submersion tank in it. Brian had me strip to my bathing suit, submerge myself in the tank and blow as much air as I could out of my lungs. He took four measurements to assure accuracy, then a computer spits out a fairly impressive body composition summary. I had a couple of pieces of good news. First one is, I'm taller than I thought I was (5 ft. 11 and a quarter inches). Second, my body fat for my age is closer to Good, placing me in the 55th percentile. If I want to drop 5% of my body fat, that would bring me to a weight of 176.5, but that is if all of the weight I lose is fat and not muscle.

I was disappointed in what the BodyFatTest.com website had to offer. The site is pretty much a vehicle to sell a nutritional book and promote the franchising of the mobile testing labs. So, lacking direction from the site on how to achieve my body fat goal, I did some research and came up with a plan of my own.

My plan to break free from 5% of my body fat is to continue to hit the gym 4 to 5 days a week. I've been going first thing when I wake up in the morning. I sometimes don't get the 8.5 hours of sleep my body craves, but the endorphins and sense of accomplishment I feel for the rest of the day make up for it. I am using Bill Wilson's Body for Life www.bodyforlife.com workout, and it works well for me. I might work with a trainer as the year goes on, but I seem to be progressing well at this stage with the BFL workouts. I'm also consulting a nutritionist to help me eat the foods that will help me meet my goal. Finally, I'm rewarding myself with a massage at the end of each month as an incentive.

So What to Write About- how about the BBB?

I decided to call this blog, "musings about breaking free." I am going to choose a topic each day and attempt to relate it to the theme of freedom. I just read Penelope Trunk's blog blog.penelopetrunk.com and decided to try one of her tips, which is to link to sites that get a lot more traffic than you do.

Have you ever been upset about the way you were treated by a business? Who hasn't been, right? I used to get mad. I used to boycott businesses. I would make a point of telling my friends and acquaintances not to frequent the establishment. Whenever a business failed to meet my expectations, I would expend a tremendous amount of energy trying to get even, usually with little effect other than stealing some of my serenity and peace away.

A few years ago, I discovered the Better Business Bureau's www.bbb.org online complaint system. The site is simple. You can use any information you have about the business to find it in the BBB's database (name, phone number, address, website, etc.) From there the site directs you to the BBB office that deals with complaints from that part of the country (for instance, the Pacific Northwest). You are prompted to identify what type of complaint it is (customer service, billing dispute, refund, etc.) The site allows you to write a short narrative about what happened and also a suggested remedy. You submit your answers, and that's it.

I just filed a complaint against a well known on-line travel services company (I'll call it company X) on Monday (two days ago). My partner and I had made reservations to stay in a hotel on Christmas eve, but the snow kept us from traveling. We called the hotel and X and we were told by both that, due to the circumstances, we could call back after the holidays and reschedule the date. When I called back after the holidays, the customer service workers from X (first names only, from Central America) told me that we would have had to reschedule on Christmas eve, and since we did not, we were out of luck. I asked for the person's supervisor, was given the same answer and hung up the phone. Within 30 minutes I had made a complaint to the Better Business Bureau. Because I have had so much success with the BBB, I didn't give it another thought. I went on with my day. Today, two days later, I looked at my bank account and there was a credit of $301.87 for the room refund from Company X.

Why does it work? It works because businesses are rated by the Better Business Bureau and they care about keeping their ratings high. Most major companies have staff in the role of resolving BBB complaints, and they are given authority to grant refunds, store credit, whatever it takes to make the complaint go away.

Here is a short list of some of the remedies I have received from BBB complaints:

Sprint- six months of cell phone service over a disputed bill
Dania Furniture- a new frame for a defective hide a bed/ couch
Nordstrom's- refund for defective athletic shoes
Banana Republic- store credit for defective merchandise

I don't advocate abusing companies for no reason with the Better Business Bureau, but if you want to break free of the feeling that you have no power in the business world, don't forget the Better Business Bureau.

Goals for 2009

I've been reading a blog called "Get Rich Slowly." www.getrichslowly.org/blog I haven't cashed in my morals for a dash toward complete materialism. I've decided that I want to start building a financial safety net that isn't predicated on any one income source. This blog and others like it are good sources of practical information about paying off debt, building income from multiple streams and transitioning to financial independence. I've been inspired by what I've read, so I have decided to set some goals, financial and otherwise for 2009.

1- Pay off all of my debt. That includes the amount I currently owe the credit union on my car

2- Re-establish a web site that allows me to promote my various interests, music, photography, writing, mediation, etc.

3- Decrease my body fat by 5%. I don't even know how doable this is, but I am more concerned about lowering my body fat than I am about losing weight.

4- Finish my recording project and release a CD of music.

5- Start a new business income stream that brings in at least $150.00 a month by the end of the year.

That's it. I think that's enough. I'm excited about what 2009 may bring. I'm feeling grateful for the life I have today, and that seems to be one of the keys to happiness.

A touch of grey, a little lest angst

I attended my High School reunion this weekend. I grew up in a town weird enough to freak Hunter S. Thompson out, but my High School experience was pretty average. Like many, I struggled in High School, not academically, but socially. I made pretty good grades, but I didn't fit in with the "brainiacs." I played sports, but I also could hang with the hippies. My parents didn't make enough money for me to be with the "ins" but they invited me to a few of their parties because I could make people laugh.

At my 10 year reunion, everyone looked great. There was a lot of sexual tension in the air. We were still young and we were taking on the world. I had a good time at the Friday night mixer that year but ran from the Saturday night dinner dance like a republican at an ethics class.

At my 20 year reunion, people were a little more relaxed, but there was still a little more one-up-man-ship than was comfortable for me.

At this reunion (30) the conversations focused on family, kids, taking care of elderly parents, non-profit work and of course, politics. I was nervous as I walked up to the restaurant/bar where it was being held. Will I know anyone? I did know quite a few folks. I hooked up with some dear friends I had lost contact with and we are back in touch. I saw myself through the eyes of people who hadn't seen me in 30 years, and I liked the feedback I was given. I wasn't really looking for validation, just connection, so the former was gravy.

One of the most interesting moments of the night came for me when I talked to Danny Fromhart. Danny and I were on the wrestling team together as freshman. In a scrimmage match, I broke Danny's arm and he never wrestled again. For the past 30 years, Rick McGough has tormented me with comments like "Danny would have been a pro baseball player, but you screwed that up," or "Danny's coming (to the 10 and 20 year reunions) and he wants to get even." When I talked to Danny, he said Rick had been goading him in the same way for all these years. We both agreed that McGough was an asshole and had a nice time talking and catching up on life.

The last half hour I was at the party, I was talking to a group of cheerleaders and thinking to myself how funny it is that 30 years ago I wouldn't have had the courage to talk to this group. I like being the age I am. Time is sort of an equalizer. I imagine at the 40 year reunion those of us fortunate to still be "among the quick" will be mostly talking about retirement and our health. I'll be there.

See you at Bumbershoot!

Here is the link on the Bumbershoot website about my winning the Haiku contest.

http://www.bumbershoot.org/haiku-contest.htm

The Folinator

Here is a picture of Foli, my cat. She reads minds, juggles and plays a mean blues harmonica.

"a pig, in a cage, on antibiotics"

A series of things happened. I watched a couple of movies that hit home. First it was "Fight Club". Although I'd seen it a few times, it really hit me how much of a corporate clone I have become. Then I saw "Into the Wild" and my world started to shift. The story of a young kid dying of starvation in the Alaska wilderness is tragic, but the movie also portrayed the incredible spirit that this young person had as well as the impact he had on other people. I know I'm forgetting other recent events, but just a few days ago, it happened again. I was listening to Radiohead's song "fitter happier" from OK Computer. The last words spoken by the automated voice are "a pig, in a cage, on antibiotics." That's how I feel. I've slowly traded peace of mind for security, creativity for monotony, bliss for drudgery. I work in a salt mine, a governmental placating machine. I was listening to KEXP a couple of hours ago and Joseph Arthur was being interviewed. He said "there is really plenty of time." What would a life like that feel like?

I'm not sure, but I have been thinking more and more about how I could spend more time being creative. I'm an artist. I need to feed my soul or I fear that I am going to lose my fucking mind. Where do I start? Save money. Contact people who will support me in my dream. Look for ways to bridge the gap, moving from the full-time grind to work you can do from a laptop, then integrate more music and other arts into your life until it feels like it is enough. Or work toward a place when I can jump off the tower completely. Hire a life coach? I don't know about paying someone a lot of money to tell me what I already know "he who is not busy being born is busy dying." Dylan wrote that. "Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans", John Lennon wrote that. "I want to peel off your chrome," Michael Clark wrote that. "I have absolutely everything, except a life." I wrote that.

Sun Valley, Nevada

This isn't your grandfather's Sun Valley.  My daughter lives here.  I drove by her house yesterday morning and she wasn't home.  Her mom is earning extra money with a paper route, which gets her up at 3:00 a.m. to make a few bucks, so she didn't hear me ring the doorbell.  It was already almost 90 degrees at 10:30 a.m.  I drove down to the strip mall which serves as "town central" to the Burger King.  The young men and women working and eating there had haunting vacant stares.  There's no American dream here.  It's dog eat dog, and these folks are begging for scraps.  I bought a paper, and as I ate my "Western Bacon Cheeseburger," read that the United States still has the highest number of millionaires, but they make up less than 2% of the population.  Every one of these young adults bought into the lie at some point that they could be one of the few people in America that benefit from our great capitalist experiment.  Good scientists give experiments up when they fail.  It's time we kiss this one goodbye.  My brother and his daughter are here as Ron Paul delegates, infiltrating the Republican party.  I'm proud of him, and I believe him when he says the only chance the United States has of pulling ourselves out of this downward slide is to end the empire, bring all of the soldiers home from the 100 plus countries they are stationed.  The part I disagree with Ron Paul about is that if we do that, conserve our resources for the people in this country, then the free market will take over and people will be taken care of.  The last thing Milton Friedman accomplished before he died was to convince the government to dismantle the New Orleans public school system during the great swindle called "reconstruction."  Go tell a black kid in New Orleans that the free market is going to take care of him/her.  Federal, State, County and Local governments were set up to protect, preserve and foster the public good.  If we invest our money wisely there, we can get back to having the kind of country our parents passed on to us.  We did it before, we can do it again.

First entry of 2006

It's another year, and I am so glad to be on the planet! This looks to be a year in which those who have been abusing their power may get their day of reckoning. George Bush, who lies for a living, was caught red handed, assuring people in 2004 that "whenever you hear about the government wire tapping, there is a court order involved." It turns out that W has acually been authorizing wire tapping of American Citizens and others including members of the United Nations since shortly after 9-11. The argument that it would jeapordize National Security to go through legal channels to get this authority doesn't hold water, as the administration could have tapped any phones they wanted to and then gone back retroactively for formal authority, if they had wished to. Why didn't they do it legally if it was that easy? That, my friends, is the 6 million dollar question, and if you ask the right questions, you get some interesting answers. Could it be the administration was wire tapping political opponents and others who may have opposed their policies but in no way shape or form posed a threat to the security of our nation? I believe this may be the case. After all, this is the group that got on the TV, stared straight at the cameras and talked about "mushroom clouds" knowing all the while that Sadaam Huissein didn't have the ability to launch a bottle rocket at us at the time. So today, Bush says "I assure you that everything I have done is perfectly legal, otherwise I wouldn't have done it." Richard Nixon was famous for saying "if I do it, then it is legal, because I am the president." Shrub has fallen into the same sort of circular logic, and it may end up being his undoing. "Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely." I don't remember who said that, but it was one of the first things I learned in college in a political science class. Whether you are the president of the United States, the leader of the 700 club, an administrator in charge of federal employees or a guy in Rome in a $10,000 hat, if you start assuming that your actions are right because of who you are, you WILL paint yourself into a corner eventually. It is assuring to me to know that, because then I don't feel like it is my responsibility to "right all of the wrongs" I come across. That is a big fucking job, and a person could wear themselves out trying to do it. So hears to you and yours. My New Years wish for myself is that I breathe in gratitude and breathe out forgiveness every day this year. If I do that, I will have a good year. This much I know to be true. Peace.

Happy Holidays!!

Yeah, I meant to say happy holidays and not Merry Christmas. I said that to someone today, and she responded with, "I don't want to be politically correct, "Merry Christmas." Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter, you know... the usual suspects in the neo-conservative nazi party of america, talking heads for the sorriest administration we've had in this country since Warren G. Harding (actually, I don't know if he was a bad President, but I'm on a roll) have created ANOTHER distraction called "the war on Christmas." Their premise is that secular humanists, liberals, non-christians and Jews are scheming to take the Christ out of Christmas. These blow hard apologists for the Bush/Cheney juggernaut that has taken this country from record surplusses to record deficits, from years of relative peace to perpetual war, from good relations with other countries to open hostility, from gains in protecting the environment to unspeakable giveaways to the worst polluters, from reductions in poverty to a wider gap than ever between rich and poor...these right wing pseudo christian bigots are so full of hate and fear they see a conspiracy on the door of every refrigerator. Since they don't want to focus on what is in front of all of our noses, the insane amount of money it takes to support this stupid war, the fact that Frist, Delay, Libby, Abramoff and several other prominent repulicans are under indictment or worse, the fact that the conservatives got their asses kicked this week on ANWR, the Patriot Act and the "Reverse Robinhood Budget,"...they deflect and conjure up a bogus conspiracy that is really just a poorly veiled batch of anti-semitism and religious intolerance dressed up in tinsel and garland.
The mood in this country is shifting, and I am looking forward to the day when O'Reilly and the rest of them are off the air because noone wants to hear their hatred spewed upon them anymore. That day is coming, as is the day when a spirit of decency, cooperation, fiscal discipline, fairness, environmental stewardship, economic equality, religious freedom, support of workers rights and partnership with the rest of the world community returns to this fine nation. Until then, I refuse to participate in this fiasco called Christmas that is really just a bunch of corporate hype designed to stress people out and push them farther into debt. I haven't bought one Christmas present, and my sweetie and I are going up to Mount Rainier to spend a few nights in the wilderness, where God speaks, if we are listening, every day. So happy holidays to you and yours. Let's pray for peace and sanity and a return to decency in this country. Let's face it, 2005 was fucked up, but we can do better!!

Remembering John Lennon

25 years ago today, John Lennon was murdered by an insane fan, supposedly enraged by his perception that the former Beattle had "sold out." I was attending the University of Nevada Reno, working in Lincoln Hall as a Resident Assistant, when the announcement came over the radio in my room, "John Lennon has been shot, he was pronounced dead on arrival." I remember going outside and finding people gathering together, crying, holding each other. I felt as if a piece of me had been stolen, that's how strongly I identified with John Lennon. I called the only person I could think of who loved Lennon more than I did, my brother John. He answered the phone "John is dead." We consoled each other, although neither one of us could find even a semblance of a silver lining. To this day I can't. I do know this, John Lennon was one of the most amazing song writers in history, and he will always be dear to me.

Alex

This is Alex, my daughter. She will be 17 years old in a week. She is a very talented visual artist, kind to animals and her younger brother, an up and coming guitar player and a gifted writer. I am so grateful that she is in my life. She's wearing an "Anomaly Records" hat and she is standing in front of my bad, 1982 Toyota Corolla station wagon. Yes, that is a Peace flag.