1- Thou shalt not treat Facebook as your God. Facebook has received a tremendous amount of press, but it is still essentially a way for people to share pictures.
2- Thou shalt not believe everything you read online. Case in point, networks announced that Representative Gifford's was fatally wounded based upon an anonymous source on Wikipedia. The thing that is great about the internet, access for all, also makes it quite likely that you will occasionally read something that is totally nonsense, such as a Twitter feed from Sarah Palin. Likewise, don't assume you know someone if the only impression you have of them comes from what they post online. The person is letting you see the parts of them they want, sort of like an iceberg, much more is below the surface.
3- Thou shalt not take thy spouse or bosses name in vain online. The same norms of social etiquette that have applied to people for ages apply to your online posts. If you are mad at your boss or your ex-lover, tell it to a few close friends if you must, but don't post it online. It's sort of like Eddie Vedder getting drunk and getting on the mike at a Baseball stadium. Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should.
4- Remember the sabbath- Once a week, turn off your phone, computer, etc. and take a walk. See the sky, the trees? Smell the air? See that cute guy/girl on the bus who isn't listening to his/her Ipod or texting on his/her smart phone? Strike up a conversation. Sure it feels weird for a bit, but isn't it ten times more interesting than anything you've read online for the last, say 2 years? You know it is.
5- Honor thy father and mother. Remember when you friended your Mom on Facebook? Remember that post you just made on FB "got real drunk last night and masturbated to pictures of your mom?" Your mom and your Grandmother just read that.
6- Thou shall not murder your career. It's nice that you have a cool job where you can get drunk at work. It's fun to post pictures of you using a beer bong in front of your work computer. A small disturbed sub-group of your friends are thinking about following you on Twitter. Even if you delete it later, it lives on a server somewhere forever, and it can come back to haunt you. Do you think this is going to be your last job? Do you think potential employers might do a Google search on your name? What if drinking at work is not so OK with them? Go ahead, roll the dice.
7-Thou shalt no commit adultry (even if its all in your mind). If you are married or in a committed relationship, don't say anything in a chat or private message that you wouldn't post on a wall on FB. If the message you are getting ready to send to your daughters hot friend does not pass this test, stand up, back away from the computer and do 25 sit ups. It can never hurt.
8- Thou shalt not steal intellectual property. If someone has blogged it, played it, painted it, drew it, or twittered it, it's their property. You can probably get away with using that photo you like on your album cover if you photo shop the shit out of it, but don't use it unless you get permission. See the last sentence of commandment three for the reason.
9-Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor. This means don't lie. It's just a good rule to follow. Enough said?
10- Do not covet thy neighbors online Friends. I saw a presentation about Social Networking sites which stated you cannot keep meaningful contact up with more than 150 people, nobody can. If you think this is overstated, try this test. Take a look at your list of Friends on any social networking site. Now, ask yourself this question, how many of these people would pick me up at the airport if I asked them? Those are your friends.***
***Paraphrased from something I heard Chuck Prophet say at a show at the Tractor Tavern in 2010 (see Commandment #8)
5 comments:
Good stuff. If I don't decide to drop the facebook altogether, I'll try to remember these.
@Stephan. I get you bro, I have sort of a love-hate relationship with social media. I feel I need to be connected from a professional and avocational level and it keeps me up with what's happening in the extended family. Case in point, how else would I know that Cousin Mike Melancon's daughter wrote a book. On the other hand, I question my own motives when I post and some content just makes me squirm. That's why I wrote this article.
I like it. Me, I'm mainly a FB stalker, I like to here peoples news. I rarely feel I have much of importance to say. My rule is that if someone friends me, and after one month we have not had any interaction , I unfriend them. Except for family. If a family members posts lot of annoying things over and over, I just edit my news feed so I don't have to see it. That's just me
Thanks Tom! Nicole and I have been talking a lot about Facebook in particular after reading an article called "Is Facebook making us sad?" Basically the study showed that as we scroll through each others carefully constructed Facebook lives (all our best photos, happiest most fun moments, cleverest thoughts) we become convinced everyone else has a perfect life. We compare to our own imperfect (real) life and feel inadequate. We're all completely connected like never before - and it's making us lonely.
So... I've had mixed feelings about it lately, too. I love knowing about things going on in the family. I love seeing everyone's photos. But who needs something that is taking insidious stabs their self esteem day in and day out?
I think the answer is balance. Less time being a stalker and more time writing real messages to people and calling them to catch up.
Anyway. These are all good things to keep in mind. Thank you for sharing!
Martin, I appreciate your comment. When I realized I could block certain people's posts, it helped. It's difficult watching someone self-distruct in public.
Selena, I think the article you read is on to something. I've been working for a while to limit the amount of time I spend comparing myself to other people, and reading FB posts makes that challenging.
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